Now, let’s understand here; I wouldn’t go so far as to say, “spoiled rotten”, but I know that I’ve been given a lot. Not sure of what; probably money. Well, not me, but, ya know, my parents endow me with help quite the large amount. Again, this isn’t to blame them in the least bit, because being spoiled isn’t about having money (in my personal opinion) but, rather, about what you do with that money.
So…
I’ve been reading this book as of late. It’s incredibly fascinating. It’s called “The Elegant Universe” by Brian Greene. It’s basically a pop-science book; a book about theoretical science explained in a “String Theory For Dummies” sort of language, so as to communicate amazing science discoveries to the masses. And it’s funny, mostly because this book is really changing who I am. Not really anything to do with my faith in science, or in God (although it challenges it in some aspects), but rather the way I behave.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been incredibly lazy. Not the sort of, lazy day with a blanket wrapped around you all day while you sip hot cocoa and watch re-runs of “I Love Lucy” all day long. I’m talking about the wake-up-in-bed-and-watch-s
Alright, to, hopefully, sum things up here…
I’ve started reading this book; and instead of staying up to my usual 2 a.m. internet tv show marathons accompanied with loads of Facebook stalking… er… um… browsing. I’ve been staying up [to nearly the same hours] only this time I’m reading. But not only that. I take breaks from reading, and cook meals. Instead of taking my laptop into the kitchen with me, I’ll just watch my hamburgers (24 for £5 at Costco!) and think. Not just about this book, but I’ll sit alone, in my kitchen, with my thoughts. It’s actually a good feeling. To think. I feel that I, all too often, zone out my creative thoughts by watching too many movies or TV shows. And instead of reading until my eyes can’t take it anymore (like I would to with TV); I’ll read until I’m just tired enough to keep thinking, but not too tired that I’m about to pass out. That’s when I stay awake*, for about a half-hour, lying in bed, alone, again, with my thoughts. Again, not just about this book, but about life in general.
It feels good to be alive again. I guess that’s the only way I can describe it.
Now to many of you who think this is silly and trivial, you’re probably right. It’s silly to get wrapped up in a TV show, or not even wrapped up, just too lazy to do anything else. But regardless, I felt some sort of need to write this down. And, along with this, I’m discovering that I really enjoy writing (not on my laptop), but writing with a pen, and paper. Like I did when I was a kid, in cursive, so I have plenty of time to think my thoughts out before penning them too quickly. Although, I’ll admit that I typed this thing on my Lappy.
Anywhositwhatsit…
Back to my original thought. (I went on that enormous side note because I thought this thought when I was cooking dinner a few days ago, and it came back to me a couple days after I first thought it when I was lying awake at night).
I thought to myself, am I spoiled to the point to where I have so much that I have no ambition? Don’t take this the wrong way, I have plenty of hopes and dreams and ambitious goals to seek out before I die. But is living in luxury a blessing or a curse? Truly, it is about what you do with your wealth. But, have I been responsible with the lifestyle I’ve been given? Have I really been given this lifestyle, or am I still choosing to live it? Is it wrong to have extra money that I spend on pointless crap while others are suffering and dying from not having clean water? At what point should I give up everything I own? Is it better for me to just keep on living a cushy lifestyle and in the end probably endow others with more money over the course of a slow lifetime rather than give everything up now? How much is too much? How much am I allowed to live off of?
And back to ambition. I guess my main thought was this: the book I’ve been reading talks a lot about Einstein. (And if that children’s biography I read in 4th grade was fairly accurate) Some of Einstein’s teachers thought he was mentally challenged. He had to overcome that obstacle in his life, and in turn, became one of the greatest scientists of this modern world. Is there any adversity I’ve had to overcome? Yes, obviously no one’s life is perfect. But out of adversity is born either triumph, or failure. One might even be able to argue that my adversity is that I haven’t had much adversity at all, and that I need to struggle to become something great without having to struggle much.
Yeah, so I don’t know. Maybe my life is cushy. Maybe I suffer a lot emotionally; I’m not really sure. It’s just nice to be able to write my thoughts onto paper. Although, do you ever think a thought, and realize you’ll never be able to really get it onto paper? Maybe I just lack the grammatical tact to transfer this thought, but that’s how I feel about this one. Regardless, I’ve got some form of it on this note; so I feel good. Quite good.
*As, yet another, side note: I’d like to thank my parents for all those years that I wanted to stay up late and watch late night telly. I greatly appreciate (now) their wisdom in making me go to bed early. It made me sit there, and (one again) think. Just be creative, only with my thoughts. I had to entertain myself with being simply creative to lull myself to sleep. Unfortunately, I suffer from this disease. I have really ambitious, cool sounding thoughts when I go to bed, and when I wake up, they take on this absolutely dumb exterior (and possibly interior). But those formative years as a kid really encouraged my creativity. So, thanks Mom and Dad.
